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Mercifully, it's finally over!

Mediocrity at its finest…


THE GHOST WRITER HAS JOINED

To all of my future www.piratessuck.com fans:

Everyone thought the train wreck in August was on the South Side, when a train derailment managed to exploit a single point of failure in Port Authority’s Light Rail System (“T”) by falling onto tracks at Station Square. Well, it was – but it turns out there was a train wreck on the North Side as well! After tearing through July, the Pool-breaking Pirates managed to “rumble, bumble, and stumble” (nod to Chris Berman, because it’s appropriate) through August. Hopelessly adrift in 4th place, the wind came right out of the sails of the Pirate ship. The Bunglin’ Buccos wilted, posting a sad record of 10-17 (.370) in August, and a mediocre 66-69 record (.489).

One could suggest the 2018 season is a tale of two teams, each one battling for supremacy. The problem is they are two personalities of the same club! Here is a table below showing their up-and-down campaign thus far:

Month

Games

Wins

Losses

Win Pct.

March / April

29

17

12

58.62%

May

27

12

15

44.44%

June

26

10

16

38.46%

July

26

17

9

65.38%

August

27

10

17

37.04%

Season to date

135

66

69

48.89%

Unlike gasoline prices, the pro-rate numbers for the Pirates have fallen steadily as the summer progressed. August dawned with them looking at between 81 and 84 wins; it sits with them looking at between 78 and 79 wins. Good for some of you, bad for the rest!

Also, the Buccos were on the wrong end of history in August, when the Cubs tied a MLB record by turning seven double-plays in a nine inning game, joining the ’42 Yankees and the ’69 Astros as the only teams in history to record such an event. They lost that game 1-0. Interestingly enough, for three years in a row, the Buccos lost the same 4 games, Games 119-123. What does that mean? Those of you looking forward to the possibility of sports gambling know!

Here’s where their season compares at the 135 game mark in previous campaigns:

Game

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

2018

135

60

63

62

55

53

59

57

54

45

62

71

79

71

81

67

63

66

162

72

75

72

67

67

68

67

62

57

72

79

94

88

98

78

75

???

Attendance once again creeped up a little bit, from a paltry 18,801 to 19,396 – a gain of 3.2%. The pro-rate number for attendance has leveled off at 18,694. If you’ve been watching (I for one have not. Why? The best drug dealers don’t do drugs, do they?, the effort they’ve been putting on the field just hasn’t been there. If they don’t care, why should you?

Here’s how average home attendance compares to seasons gone by:

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

2018

Thru 54

19,363

20,235

24,347

26,770

26,080

28,387

29,925

28,976

24,342

19,396

Season

19,480

19,919

24,255

26,149

25,646

30,155

30,847

28,113

23,993

???

Let’s look at the updated “what to expect” table now that August has passed us by. Again…“winning seasons” (2013-2015)…“losing seasons” (2002-2012, 2016-2017)…blah blah blah…

August 2018

 

Games

Wins

Losses

Win Pct.

Home

11

3

8

27.27%

Away

16

7

9

43.75%

Total

27

10

17

37.04%

 

Losing Seasons – September / October

Games

Wins

Losses

Win Pct.

Home

182

85

97

46.70%

Away

189

60

129

31.75%

Total

371

145

226

39.08%

 

Winning Seasons – September / October

Games

Wins

Losses

Win Pct.

Home

35

19

16

54.29%

Away

51

32

19

62.75%

Total

86

51

35

59.30%

Time now for my soon to be famous other observations section:

·   What’s with this latest Hollywood trend to make women more masculine and men more feminine?

·   I don’t want to seem like I’m minimizing anything, but since when were managers or superiors responsible for subordinates’ private lives?

·   Cyber-censorship has made its way out of the shadows this month, when Facebook, Google, Apple, and Spotify all shut down original whack-job Alex Jones’ podcasts and channels, under the guise of “hate speech”. Look, I’m not a fan of that lunatic at all, but who decides what’s “hate speech”, or whatever you want to call it? Anything can be labeled anything, and the touchy-feely millennials (you all know who you are, too!) need to realize your indifference allows your freedoms to be eroded away. I’ve mentioned in the past how reprehensible these companies are, but keep this in mind – this is the cyberspace equivalent of fascism, specifically forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism.

·   Again with Facebook! Facebook now asked large US banks to share detailed financial information about their customers! Yep! They asked Chase, Wells Fargo, Citigroup, and US Bancorp for card transactions and account balances, as an “effort to offer new services” to users. Facebook said it “wouldn’t use the bank data for ad-targeting purposes or share it with third parties”. Like hell you won’t, Zuckerberg! You lie so much you should be all the politicians wrapped in one!

·   Lump Twitter into the same boat as Facebook. Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey said he “fully admit[s]” Twitter employees share a largely left-leaning bias after facing accusations that conservatives are discriminated against on the social media platform. Really? I’m sure you’re all as shocked as I am.

·   Male NFL cheerleaders. I’m not saying I get it given the confused environment that has strangled our reality, (paraphrasing Chris Rock), “but I understand.”

·   New York Governor Cuomo of New York gave us the jackass of the month quote – “We are not going to make American great again, it was never that great.” Talk about laying an egg in a speech! What a dud-eroo that was!

·   Wait, before we hand that award out, just as the month was ending, a new candidate emerged. Ron DeSantis, the Republican nominee for Florida Governor, stated in an interview that Florida should not “monkey this up” by electing Democratic-Socialist nominee Andrew Gillum. Gillum is attempting to become the 1st black Governor of Florida. Wow! Doesn’t anyone in the public eye have a mental filter?

·   What a cluster f*** California is. The same state that gives out free heroin needles wants to implement a new state bill giving kids two options with their meals at restaurants—water or milk. Remember when parents would decide what was best for their children? Those days must be long gone, because evidently the lawmakers in Crazy-fornia know better! It’s okay to enable illegal and disastrous drug use, but try to let a kid have a Pepsi with lunch, and look out!

·   Since I’m on Crazy-fornia, I’ll add one to the mix – the new public enemy #1 is the plastic straw! Yeppers! Several cities have passed ordinances against the ordinary plastic straw. Santa Barbara upped the ante with legislation punishing first offenders with a written warning notice. Do it again, and you can get a “fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000), imprisonment for a term not exceeding six (6) months.” Proof that fact is stranger than fiction! It would take me weeks to come up with something that ridiculous on my own, despite many people believing I do it repeatedly month after month. Well, thanks a lot!

To wrap this mess up, I’ll leave you with everyone’s updated odds of winning. Some of us are gone already…can’t win right, can’t lose right! Stupid Pirates! Cheer up, it’s almost football season! This year might be even better – we might have sports gambling! Woo hoo!

We’ll stick a fork into this baby next month!

 


One thought on “THE GHOST WRITER HAS JOINED”

    Punxy says:

    Lots of interesting observations ghost. The only thing I ever read that was more in depth was when Mr Calder made us read War and Peace in literature 102 class at Allegheny College

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